Incomplete story - Buddy editing
THE BEGGAR STORY
Once upon a time an old beggar lady who only talked rhymes, went into a children’s book shop and this is what she said ‘ I need two kids that act like pigs to give me some money because I am very funny’.
Two kids stepped ford, ‘what are your names cuz you will play my games’. the old beggar women said
‘Hi I am Timmy and I am Tommy and who are you exactly?’
‘Oh me you’ll see don’t bother me now I’m a bit of a cow you will find a clue of why I talk to you in rhymes when the clock strikes 3 times.’ Said the beggar woman.
Tick tick tick the clock struck 3 times ‘ I know a farmer with a pet banana, who lives in Botswana, i hope you don’t mind cause he’s really kind, but don’t kick his behind he’ll get really angry, so just give him some candy, if you don’t ’have some he will smack your bum he do it very lightly, but the next time he will do it mighty’.
Give me some candy old lady said Timmy and Tommy at the same time.
Our editing:
We forgot to keep the original piece of writing to see what changes were made but this is what we did…
This is what me and my ako buddy edited like we highlighted my target blue which was to explain the first part of my paragraph. We also tried to fix my spelling and we put some more full stops in to this writing peace. 
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